Two years four months ago I lost my father. He was almost 81 and died in bed. Peaceful. Shocking but still not unexpected

Since then I have tried to give my mom new experiences so that she ( and the family) would have new memories without dad...to lessen the pain of missing him.

So , for example, for the last two Christmases mom came to my house the week before Christmas and then my brother picks her up and brings her to his house for Christmas eve and she stays there for a visit. We have created some new memories …

But

It doesn t lessen the pain for my mom or us... We re all kidding ourselves.

Mom always wanted to see a Shakespearean play at the local festival. Check. We made it happen. It was a new experience ,one that she never shared with dad. But he was still there… ‘your dad would not have enjoyed this…’ we all laughed about together afterwards.

We took mom to a ballet..my daughter and sister -in-law came as well. It was Swan Lake...really girly and gorgeous and beautiful. Something dad definitely would not have liked…but he would have been so pleased that his family was experiencing something new together. He would have been waiting for us back at home …jingling coins in his pocket…standing by the bbq…a drink not too far away. He was still there.

Damn this pain.

This year I think we will try and take her to a professional hockey game. Why not? It will be something she never did with dad.

But he will still be there.